10 things about me

well I got this Idea from the Visayas debate forum and I guess it deserves to be posted here. Its going to be a long read people!so brace yourself!teehee...

1.I love Death I love death so much that I’m actually looking forward to my own(not necessarily that I want to die)I actually made a plan of my own funeral and I’m planning to have a living funeral. Sweeeet eh?

2. Id rather save Liquor than my own life Whew…can’t believe this either…but real life circumstances told me everything.hehe. There was one time wherein I was in a party drinking with some friends and family members when this military guy’s gun was being forcefully taken from him and the nozzle was pointed at me about 4-5 meters away. Everyone was panicking and the first thing that came into my mind? “Save the imported oh so expensive Cognac!” and I was like holding it tightly so that It wont get lost and was watching the scene smiling as if nothing dangerous would happen to me while holding the bottle. sweeeet eh?

3. Im the most Optimistic Person you’ll ever know. I laugh at problems thinking that they are worth laughing at, eat at hell saying that it’s a challenge, almost die and say it’s just a test of faith. Whew…too much looking at the bright side of life. I once told my partner in debate during my first IISDC 2005 after taking the stairs to the 26th floor because it was a brownout, double checked for bombs, apparently questioned for overcrowding one room which is good for 2 by 5 people, lost walking kilometers in the brownout wilderness of URBAN CITY Manila specifically Makati, and not breaking into octos. Hey! You got to admit! You never experienced that whole your life! Experiences like these are hard to get by these days.better treasure it. with a big grin.”

4.I have a very volatile and destructive outbursts If killing people in my mind would put me to jail then I’m guilty of Genocide. I mean…Im not evil im just…well evil inside? sweeet eh? There was one time wherein I was so bursting with anger that I was able to rush inside a classroom that is not mine during class hours with a teacher inside and grabbed the leg of the **shole and dragged him off his chair and outside the door and slapped this piece of broken umbrella (the broken metal handle) that until now I cannot remember where I got at that moment before being restrained and brought to the principals office. And the best thing? My parents don’t know about it!:D Bwahahahaha:twisted: suuuweeeeet eh?

5. I grew up with a computer in my hands. From Famicom,Sega,NES,Super NES,PS,Gameboy,PS2,laptop,PC,cellphone,etc.basically anything that has a game in it…I could live all day playing. Romance of the Three kingdoms for example took my whole summer life of 2005. playing at 10am eating while playing all positions from standing to sitting to lying even sleeping one time tnx to the power of masking tape placed strategically on the X button for confirm.hehe.then I would end up when I would hear my aunt starting the washing machine which is about 530am then sleep…then wake up at 10am!weee.!sweet eh?

6.Im a super-multi-tasking-stressfull-overly –hyper person. I love being overly stressed out and pressured…it makes me tingle and smile. Ive got 7 Organizations! and Im proud to say that Im handling them near perfectly with almost complete attendance and such. 1.USM S.W.O.R.D(Supreme World of Objective Reasoning and Debating) 2.Youth for Christ-Community Leader 3.Asia-Wide Youth for Biodiversity-Founding Member in our school.among first 100 members in the whole philippines. 4.Psychology Society-Active Member(aspiring society President)

5.University Teen Center-Bonafide Member 6.University Dramatics Guild-Bonafide Member 7.University of Southern Mindanao Stutend Peer Counselors Organization-College of Arts and Sciences Division President

7.Im an Internent-Spider(spends a lot of time surfing the net.) Ive got like…multiple game accounts. Ragnarok,FLYFF,GGclient,WarRock,Perfect World,Supreme Destiny,VanRo,Tantra,Gunbound,AuditionPH,O2Jam,etc. a member of multiple forums!although some forums im in are not that active. http://www.mpdu.tk/ http://www.visayasdebate.tk/ http://www.theusmsword.tk/ http://www.lokalista.tk/ http://www.thestorycircle.tk/ etc.

8.Im a Magician… Magician I mean like David Blain,Criss Angel and stuff…its just that it takes long for me to actually get into the mood of doing magic.Street Magic that is.Cards stuff,coins,levitations,etc.Im not the u.timate Magician though but a practitioner of the art. check my videos in youtube(www.vitaconvulsusangelus.blogspot.com)!more to come soon!

9.The Moon is my Love… well…I really love the moon…its so mysterious and magnetic and wonderful and dramatic and scary and…everything…its so fascinating…I cried before when I witnessed my first ever Moon Bows.(Rainbows of the moon.)I once stared at the Hunter’s Moon(Big yellow Moon often called new moon) for hours. I even talk to the moon before…its kinda like my blogspot before.hehe.Shes like…hmm…a Silent Friend…Always receiving all my emotions but never ceasing to listen…whew…so EMO…

10.My body Clock is Weird. Normal Sleeping time for me is 3am 1am is already early for me.normal wake up time is 11am 7am is waaaay too early.I could stay awake for days and I do mean days.judging that Im doing something (refer to #6) and still doing something for days…and still busy and stressed…id be awake…like now…3am and still awake… The longest time I was awake I guess was four days…I guess…that was after my Graduation in Highschool… 1st day whole day family celebration+doing Various stuff till 5am 2nd day 8am-530pm Mall Trip 8pm-2am(davao closes at 2am dang!) davao touring(laag) and all kinds of stuff with some friends. 3rd day 2am-11am Movie Marathon (Troy,Kingdom of Heaven,equilibrium,and some horror film I cant remember.) after lunch-430pm something I cant remember…(texting I guess) bout 8pm-7am Gaming Marathon with some friends sa Boyztrek 4th day 9am-530pm Samal Island-Isla Reta with classmates 7pm-4am Grad Party at Classmates house 5th day 6am-10am I toured the whole Juna Subd. in Matina sa Davao!!!la magawa eh.ahehe… 12pm-530pm travel to Matalam(my hometown) that night I was able to sleep coz there arent any places to go to at night in our place.

wooow…five days pala un… well this is me…:Dsweeet eh?

Welcome to the Philippines?!?

Dec. 29, another historical mark in our country.heres the deal. During the trial of the magdalo soldiers on their case of mutiny and atempted mutiny for brig. gen. Lim an unexpected event happened. After the defense have asked questions for Lim the court went to a reccess.After the reccess its the prosecutions turn to cross examine,but it never reached that part. From the back Faeldon, a member of the magdalo approached Lim and said "Sir,tayo na." and stood up and started walking away.

The Justice Pimentel shouted out to the guards and escorts that "Dont let Gen. Lim to go out!" but the crazy thing is all the guards and escort just watched.Only two dared to ask and stop them but they were shrugged off easilly.It was going easy and looked plan from the start being able to reach the ground floor with little to no resistance whatsoever.

Next Scene, The streets of Makati. -Traffic was halted by uniformed officials -blocked by unidentified cars. -people were asked and persuaded to join."Kailangan kayo ng bansa nyo!samahan nyo kami!" these lines were mentioned. All over this the press followed.until they reached their next destination.HOTEL PENINSULA. rushing inside.without care for anything or the properties of the said hotel it is here that they made their so called "Stand-off". On the Government' Side. immediate reaction? "Send the PNP!not the ARMY!they might join them!" What happened next? tanks appeared. The Special Action Forces arrived. Guests of the hotel evacuated. Front gate machined gunned with 60 rounds to weaken the wall by a tank. front door banged by tank to be destroyed. hotel teargassed. Magdalo surrendered. Bishops of the church also arrested. Mediamen arrested. All this happened in one day.All part of the so called Democracy and freedom of expression. But do we really know what is Democracy?one clear thing is that the power of the people is absolute.but the rule of law is a safeguard restriction.so which should be followed?the rule of law?or the power of the people? welcome to the philippines...Happy Bonifacion Day. †Shattered.Angel†

The Complete Chapters of my Shattered Heaven...

poem I created for her...

Shattered Heaven

a fragile thing of unspeakable beauty... a tainted glass of unkown mystery... you mesmerize me...you blinded me... a cruel way of destiny...

like a shadow dancing in the light... like a the core of a jewel,untouched... my world is crumbling... I was lost...answers I was seeking...

like the rainbows of the moon... like the darkness of the sun... rare...once in a lifetime... I tried to reach...to figure...

I was lost...I was shattered...Everythings a blur...

SHATTERED HEAVEN

Darkness falls... Time stops... tears forever sworn to be hidden... I lament...stunned by a maiden...

Death chokes me... heaven rejects me... Im lost...nowhere to go... I reached...I failed...I fell...

Deafened by silence... Love was silent... no clues...no answers... full of questions...mysteries...unknown beauty...

Forever seemed to short for me... times running to fast... piece by piece I break down...

SHATTERED...

Shattered Heaven III

The Pieces reflect the whole

The soul slips away

No matter how hard I try...

I remain shattered

The pieces gathered

Destroyed for eternity

Lost in Oblivion

I am floating endlessly.

I no longer want to interfere

The cause is lost

my death already forseen

but my life remains unending

"The third and last part of my shattered heaven poem...hope she could read this...as to let her know...I hurt...I cry...but I wear a mask"

Angelus Pennae

Angelus Pennae

"Angel Wings"

My sun has started to set... My moon has ceast to exist... My stars have lost its glistle... My life has lost its colors...

The love I offered wasted...

The time I sacrificed forgotten...

The chaos has overwhelmed me...

The heart stopped beating...

This Heart left shattered forever...

This Dreams failed to achieve...

This Life lost its meaning...

This Angel has lost its wings...

"This is Me... after everything...I gave to her..."

Nemo Mi Impune Laccesit!!!

No one attacks me with impunity and gets away with it.... This line from the novel Cask of Ammontilado is perhaps the line that defines the anger and desire for revenge. Im all smiles I tell you...but im no saint...Im evil...Full of torturing thoughts and murderous desires...I am a cold-blooded killer..filled with the drowning screams of my victims...I am a creature of the night that dwells in the greatest fears of the people that fear me and despise me...I thirst for running blood...I bathe in anguish and suffering...I eat souls to satisfy my hunger for revenge.... I am EVIL...I am IMPERFECT...because I am human... Always expect me to be masked...feeding in every inch of fear I feel... Searching for a chance to strike... It's in my nature...It's in our nature...Brutallity is an act of coldness...but I guess im not warm-blooded...I speak words you shall hear echoing in your mind forever...words that shall break your own little world that tells you that everything would be alright... "Think Before you talk!" Or Ill rip away the very existense of your so called refuge...You may be strong but you are not invincible...The strenght of my fist might not be enough to destroy you,but I dont want to kll you with a gun pointed to your head or a knife across your neck...I want to see you beg for your dear life...I want to hold your breath in my own hands having the power to end it at will... My mask is my refuge...And you shall paint it with your own blood... You will see a person full of joy and laughters,but is ready to take away someone's...A person that is full of dreams yet willing to destroy other's...A person hoping for a better future,but nonetheless capable of destroying the future for revenge... Yes...you might despise me now dear reader...but this is me...and nonetheless you as well...This is our weakness as humans...our fragile beings hoping to be saved in the end and live eternally by being the ideal good not knowing that we are only fooling ourselves...It's not about being perfect and good in the end...but rather being able to do what is right that really counts...No matter how inhumane we are and animalistic our behavior is...The decision is still up to us...Let it overcome us...or Fight it and rather wear a mask to hide the pain and anger so as not to hurt others...but then again...everything has it's limits...and patience still runs out no matter how far... I am HUMAN...I am EVIL...but I am RIGHT...for I did what know was right...by not letting the evil in me overcome me... We are HUMANS...and saying that you are EVIL don't mean that you are WRONG...because sometimes...admitting your weakness and the truth about you is the right thing to do... So once again... I AM EVIL...I WEAR A MASK...I AM HUMAN...

My 2nd try

My first Req Video for The Story Circle

I lived...and died...and lived again...only to die again...but still I live...

"its not in our daily lives that we realize the importance of life but in death."

sucks right?you gotta die to really live life.In my case however I never learn...I died several times and I keep going...and going...and going.... Among my many deaths though ive learned a lesson on each rebirth I have experienced.The most important?to GO ON!Im actually lucky I died a lot of times already for each time a better me is born. let me run it down to you...

1.)Death by rope "Friends are like ropes,they either help you get up and reach the peak...or hang you in a guillotine." the box-They say more friends means more fun!wee!..fak!I have gained a lot of friends some I thought to be true,even some I thought to last forever only to find out that I was putting my trust on some true...garbage... outside the box-A handful of true friends is better than a world of oblivious,fake,and unworthy friends.Let them die!I say.but give your life to the handfull who would also give theirs for you.harsh?that's life.

2.)Death by pedestal "Your family is your pedestal,they shall be your stepping stone...but also the heviest weight you shall carry." the box-Wishing I had a better family...richer?yah...better siblings?yah...closer family ties?yah...how would you feel to be pulled down and lose your dreams because of your own family?the feeling cud kill... outside the box-My family is IMPERFECT!and im starting to love it!perfection makes life boring.besides for every problem a family face it gets stronger.losing dreams?what would you do with it if you cant share it to your family.Scream your anger to your mom,to your dad,and to your brother/s and sister/s for all I care.let it out!it gets better in awhile.why?because they are your family...the world would neglect you and puke you out but family would always be there.;)

3.)Death by heart "the heart provides the best feeling you could have.It's decietful though." the box-hearthaches suck...and when i does,it sucks bigtime!how would you feel giving your entire heart to someone only to have it shred to pieces while you could only watch and die.try loving someone who cant be yours...the death is slow.try loving someone whom you thought loves you back...this death is like cancer...you realize it when its too late...eh?whatever way it is...its death by deceit... outside the box-false love and tragic lovestories has only one thing to be blamed for...US!we fail to see the difference sometimes between "TRUE LOVE" and "INFATUATION".We invest too much feelings on things we thought was true never leaving enough love for ourselves.If all was thrown away...at least there is still some love left for ourselves...too hard to do?trying and failing is better than watching a bullet blaze towards you without nudging a bit.

4.)DEATH BY CRUCIFIXION "The cross is the symbol of sacrifice and eternal life,but nonetheless its still death said with flowery words." the box-I have no faith nor religion before...the bible for me was a a big question mark.God was a questionable being.Destiny was in my hands.I live by my rules not by some priests sermons.shocking?I know...I even shock myself and ocassionally scare me when I think bout it... outside the box-they say the seeing is believing but the truth is...to believe is to see.Im now an active leader in YFC(Youth For Christ).ironic isnt it?someone who questioned God now lives and serves in his name.1 day and 1 night was all it took for me to change and realize all this...but 3 years past before I truly understood it.

Still scared of DEATH?I laugh at death now and eat it for lunch!Death mught hurt but the treasure it offers is far more rewarding...

"Death shall be the judgement,the pain,and the end...but it is not the finality of life."

questio ut exsisto donatus chance amore

questio ut exsisto donatus chance amore seeking to be given the chance to love.

you created a gap between us.you tortured me with your presence coz I can only look at you.I torment in you silence not knowing what your thinking.dying in your smile for you smile not for me.I am falling in a deep pit everytime you look back for i know thats all the attention I can get from you...

ferrum of vita quod suus inevitable opera

ferrum of vita quod suus inevitable opera

"the irony of life and its inevitable pains"

When life hits you hard with reasons...you need to decide...go...or stop... dammit...how come when you decided to give up life bombards you with reason to go on? arrghh...how come when you decide to go on life bombards tou with reasons to give up? its hard to be played with by destiny...

Life is such an unforgiving thing...It gives the hopes of everything yet takes it all away when you decide to seek it.

Take the human body for example and its main life source "Oxygen". Oxygen gives life to the human body and it is the main ingredient for a lot of body processes of a person.The only drawback is that...Oxygen...have this decaying factor that everytime we inhale...we decay...and you cant stop breathing coz u need it...In short...We need the very thing that kills us...

Life is meant to end...And the moment we hold on to it...we deny proper respect to our life...

"Lost obvius universitas of diligo"

"Lost obvius universitas of diligo" A day of struggle and seeking for the right path... Chasing without knowing if you could catch up. I just wish that Im on the right path...That Im not falling for false hopes and daydreams that are impossible. Time seems to be Death who got his scythe on my neck.Life seems too short now...or should I say 24 hours...

Nunc Scio Quit Sit Amor...

shit...life sucks...destiny has a way of giving what you wanted on tight and late times...why did this happen when everythings already too late...If I could just rewind life and go back in time..."Nunc scio quit sit amor..." Now I know what love is...

My Intro at The Story Circle

†Vita convulsus Angelus† (Life of a Shattered Angel)

Im Julio Czar Monteron...currently an incoming 2nd year college student from The University of Southern Mindanao.I study currently in North Cotabato but Davao remains my one true home.

The First Draw of the Cards...

Im a card gamer for a very long time and has been introduced to some great card handlings as a kid, but only in my highschool days in ateneo de davao that i started to look at cards in a different way...in a way some people never thought possible.in a way most consider as magic.

It all began when I saw a simle trick in the net(mystical aces) and tried it at school. The trick was for me before just for fun.but after the reactions I recieved and the feeling of control that I experienced....I got addicted.Cards became my bestfriend thus it became my favorite card pharaphernalia.It is then that I looked at cards as an extension of my imagination not just a piece of paper or plastic.

The turn of the cards...

At school we were considered as the best:having gaining friends who do magic as well and popularity, All my knowledge came from my friends and the internet... for I got little or no access at all to any type of high quality magic before. I werent satisfied anyomore.I wanted to look for something I would consider as another stepping stone for a higher understanding of magic. I've been searching for it...for a long time...and few satisfied my thirst for quality magic... Magic is like a deck of cards...youll never know what you will get...or maybe we do...

Street Magic became my past time and I consider it as an escape from what I call "The reality of the joker" Its a term I made meaning that life like a joker is not with all the facepaints and laughs but when he no longer wears those. As a magician you can run wild your imagination...create a reality that people would want to understand.An understanding that could influence other's people about the realness of believing in things you never thought possible like dreams.

I dream to hold a deck in my hand and use it...not only for entertainment but for learning...

Im a born actor...and my stage is the streets...and my props are the cards...and the rest of the cast?the world.Patter is perhaps the most important thing in magic.I believe that Magic is 80% acting and 20% card handling.its how you draw your audience to believing that what you just did is real that matters not how much he or she is awed on the quickness of your hands...

"Never say its impossible...just do some patter..."

This is my story...What's yours?

-†ShatteredAngel†-

Julio Czar Monteron

ps. Never hold a deck in your hand...hold it in your heart...and the rest shall follow...