5 chapters of Darkness

I once created 5 poems which evolved around the darkness of humanity and personality.It was a reflection of myself. The whole 5 chapters took me 4 years to finish.from 1st year HS to 4th yr HS. I came across the poems again lately.so I decided to post them here.one by one.

The first chapter is Doubt.An evil that destroys everything before it even starts...

Chapter 1
"Doubt"

I doubted my abilities
by not doing what I can do best
I chained myself to a wall
and will never be free like the rest

I doubted myself
by wearing a coward's mask
I hid myself with lies
and will never be able to do any task

I doubted my Heart
Believing I am worth no one
I pierced my heart with thorns
and will never be able to love anyone

I doubted my Life
by denying my existense now and then
I isolated myself from reality
and will never be able to live again

I doubted my whole world
I doubted Everything
I was fooled that doubting was searching
Such doubt made me fear everything

The 2nd Chapter is Fear the rotting carcass of your existense.

Chapter 2
"Fear"

I fear the Darkness
The Darkness of my heart
I did not risk to love
Such a complicated Art

I fear the images
Chimera in my mind
I did not risk to see
for I thought there is none to find

I fear the silence
Silence of my tears
I did not risk to listen
I decided to close my ears

I fear the Animosity
The bitterness of life
I did not risk to taste it
Everything is full of strife

I feared my own existence
Shivering with the coldness of demise
These fears made me bleed
bleed failures i dont need

The 3rd Chapter is failure the reeking scent of darkness.

Chapter 3
"Failure"

I failed to subsist
and live life to the fullest
I regret denying my existence
My life's pains so endless

I failed my Persona
Someone drenched with lies
I regret wearing a mask
such a deadly game of dice

I failed my limits
Evading my own abilities
I regret Chaining myself in a mirage
I created my own frailties

I failed my heart
a heart turned to stone
I regret not loving
Glorification with a False Crown

I failed yet succeeded...
Succeeded to be Mediocre
Everything is now Crimson Red
as I get overpowered with Hatred

The 4th chapter is Hatred. The Burning sensation that slowly eats up all sanity.

Chapter 4
"Hate"

I hated my Doubts
a foolish act for nothing
a sign of my great fall
I neglected what life could bring

I hated my fears
An excuse fit for cowards
The start of my great fall
I was hindered to go forward

I hated my failures
This punishment I am worth
The peak of my Great fall
I was judged harshly by Destiny

I hated myself
A man who lost all Heaven
The End of my Great fall
I only deserve to be forgotten

I hated so much
Such a Painful Ending
As the Devil in the pale moonligt dances
I lost all sense, I am slowly Dying

The last Chapter is Sense...because all darkness would soon slowly fade away...towards the light...

Chapter 5
"Sense"

I was blinded by darkness
blinded by lies...
but you showed me the light
and ended my cries

I was silenced by anger
anger from pain...
but you taught me how to speak
like the fierce thunder within a gentle rain

I was deafened by cries
cries of suffering...
but you showed me how to listen
with no more fear nor doubting

I was suffocated by Enigmas
Confusion and Guilt...
but you showed me how to breathe
A paradigm of hope we have built

I was numbed by loneliness
My heart was lonely...
but you have comforted me
By promising you will never leave me

I Doubted, Feared, Failed, and Hated
Death was certain
Hope was a Caustic Friend
My suffering no more, My journey ended.